This past (Internationals’) week or so has felt like the closed season all over again, but the suffering has been worsened by the infestation of these hallowed Boards by the resurgent Mutton Molesters and Sheep S******s. Their childish tedium has reached almost critical levels and they have come up with absolutely nothing original to do with Saturday’s game viz:
- Our support is bigger than your support, na na na na na (eh Dundee – population circa 140,000 – 2 SPL teams – [and ah’m being generous tae youz BNB’s] and several other SFL teams in the immediate vicinity); and Abaardeen – population 210,000 with only Peterhead for competition 30 odd miles away (with apologies tae Cove Rangers and Inverurie Locos)!!!; &
- Our Casuals are harder than your Casuals, na na na na na (eh grow up ya tubes – both sets – and go attach yersels tae something else – what was it Paul McCartney sang on the famous and magnificent Band On The Run album – oh ah’m showing ma age here? “Jet, I can almost remember their funny faces”!!!
Try “Coming Up” (get in there – another McCartney reference) with something original to do with the game, it’s all too boring this other cr@p, but please do come down in huge numbers and fill half of Tanny; as we promise we will put your “hard earned” to good use…..
There’s no doubt that the MogaDons have made an amazing (and dare I say it impressive) start to the season. Bernie Winters (whose tangerine fake tan and pot belly could see him mistaken as our mascot; or even worse as an overweight Arab substitute) and his faithful sidekick Schnorbitz have apparently answered their chairman’s desperate prayers and transformed the SPL cannon fodder; and it is with utter glee that this scribe welcomes them to Tanny with no goals in the “Goals Against” column. Surely there can be no greater incentive on the back of the Home Dressing Room door this weekend, than to dent that particular statistic and to register a “home win”.
And so onto United. Without ever getting into anything like top gear so far this season, we have got 5 points from our 4 games; and that’s in spite of having 2 of the softest penalties I have ever seen in over 25 years of going to Tanny being given against us. Surely our lucks got to change in respect of the crew from SpecSavers? With the Sheep currently 2nd in the SPL on 8 points, it’s obvious that this game is already the proverbial 6-pointer, especially with 2 away games to immediately follow; and then the Bigot Brothers lying in wait thereafter.
Much is being made of the departure of Charlie Miller who was a Nemesis to the Sheep in particular last season and Gall, but this humble scribe honestly believes that too much is being made of this. Genius as he was, Chas was missing for a fairly large chunk of the season and even though he ‘shed’ much weight, this made no difference to his engine and he frequently ran out of gas and/or was substituted. It would appear that [All] Brann are finding this out to their cost. The Bull, I believe, will prove his doubters wrong this weekend, that he is a more than able substitute for the Norwich City reserve goalie, or maybe even the Norwich City reserve team reserve goalie!!!
Ian McCall is to be congratulated for the signing of Grant Brebner on the basis of his debut performance, his runs from midfield to get up and beyond the front men, his passing, movement and his encouragement of the likes of Kerr and Wilson were a breath of fresh air for us against ICT and hopefully a sign of what is to come. Whether the Manager will throw new signing Kerkar in as a debutant to the position currently filled by Doddsy remains to be seen (but I do not think I am alone in hoping he does) with Jimmy Mac and The Rocket up front. My other hope is that Mark Kerr and especially Barry Robson give themselves a shake. When especially the latter decides to play, we play, but so far this season he has been anonymous.
So come on United, I’ve normally got a solo car journey down from the Granite S**tty for the game and then back, but on occasions like this I’ve got a car load of Sheep to contend with (Commercial Department please note). Chas made sure there was not a bleat on the way up the A90 last year, whilst I grinned like the proverbial Cheshire cat. More of the same please…..
Oh and finally, a word of warning for you thousands of Dons fans, “Stand Free” and yer @rses are oot on Tanny Street…just ask the Caley fans!!!